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“Who is Alex Trebek?”

“I have a bomb here and I'm not afraid to use it.”

~ Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber

“Ohhh, I'm sorry, Ted. Your comment must be in the form of a question.”

“I'd like to buy a vowel, please. "A".”

“You can't do this here. This is Mastermind.”

~ Magnus Magnusson

“I'd like to use my one phone call now, please. Hello? Chuck's Pizza? I'd like a large pepperoni, double cheese. And do you happen to know the name of the capital of Kyrgyzstan?”