Coma

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If you come out of a coma, don't go babbling about witches and lions and tin men. You'll just earn yourself a trip to the loony bin. Just STFU.

Congratulations!

You just woke up from a coma. First, look around you. Is your bed surrounded by a bunch of Hollywood character actors? No? Then you are not Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Great, there's too much of that kind of stuff going on today. Also, don't bother looking for me. I'm just the little voice in your head, only here to move the story along.

How much do you remember? Let's start with the easy stuff. Are you a boy or a girl? Check under the sheets if you need to. Okay, then what is your name? It might not be the best thing to give it out publicly, since you don't know how long you've been in the hospital. If they have your name, then they know where to to send the bill, see?

Okay, how many invisible fingers am I holding up? If the number is more than zero, you might want to go back to la-la land or a couple more months or years, just to get things sorted out. I've got my magic baseball bat if you need help with that. No? Damn. I mean, very well, let's continue.

Now, how old are you? What are you doing? I don't think you should be getting out of bed right this... What's with this with you stomping your foot on the ground? I get it, one tap mean one year, amirite? So, you're only four years old??? Wait.

You're a horse!!! Now it all comes back! You went over a fence and crashlanded on your head! So then, how come I'm talking to you in English and you can understand?

See Oslo[edit]