Circle squaring

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Passers by were awe-struck by the unusually large amounts of blood.

~ Oscar Wilde on Circle squaring

Circles are objects of arcane religious significance. Circles were declared a form of heresy by the Evil Atheist Conspiracy circa 200 CE following the execution of Aristotle.

Good Christian Decency dictates that all circles be squared.

The Squarers[edit]

Circle squaring can only be accomplished through years of dedicated service. Circle-squarers are selected at birth by the goddess Geometria who makes her will known by removing the genitals and eyes from her chosen. This is because Geometria is scary.

Circle squarers are trained in the dreadful arts by dark priests of Cthulhu. The trainees will be devoured messily at the slightest sign of weakness.

The Ritual[edit]

The ritual of circle squaring takes approximately 4 minutes during which time the squarer will holler at the top of his voice. Upon completion of the ritual, the squarer will explode in a fiery cloud of organs and appendages.

Impact on Modern Life[edit]

Approximately 4% of all children born in the barbaric outlands are selected for Circle squaring. Circle squaring surpasses disease, famine, and war in total loss of life caused in the last thousand years.