Churro

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The cup of chocolate dip is a mirage. Ignore it. It belongs to the Loch Ness Monster.

A churro is often described as fried dough. In my book, that's a doughnut, and that's what it is. Case closed.

Somebody just happened to have a gun around to extrude churros before dropping them in the fryer. Since uncooked dough was originally carried around by shepherds to cook over a fire, they must have carried around a full Martha Stewart kitchen around with them, maybe with pots and pans carefully tied onto sheep. But where could you plug in your Easy-Bake oven?

In America, these seem to be all straight and long, nothing fancy, just coated in sugar. This was originally done so that bakers could quickly build walls to defend their shops from marauders and have a snack at the same time.

However, mutant churros now walk the earth: stubby ones, minis, flavors like groundhog and rutabaga, colored and flavored sugars on top and dips. Very trendy. Nice try, but there's still a plain sugar-coated doughnut underneath that doesn't cost $10 by itself. Elsewhere in the world, there are curved and coiled up versions, funnel cakes by any other name. Those are made that way to confuse demons, who love doughnuts.