Christian

A Christian is a religious follower of Jesus Christ. This is a shortened version of Bizarro Christian describing many of its members who try their very best to do the opposite of what Jesus taught.

Unlike Rastafarians, Christians feel the need to have a middleman to talk to God, in the hopes of getting around God's secretarial staff for their requests for huge amounts of wealth and humility. With the death of Billy Mays, Christians felt their perfect spokesperson would be Mays' replacement, Jesus.