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Cheetos is a snack food of questionable origin.

First of all, they are glow-in-the-dark orange. What cheese is that color? What thing on God's green Earth is that blinding color? Useful for spelling SOS on the snow if your plane crashes in the mountains, yes. Otherwise, it's a powder that gets all over the place and turns everything that color. Great for forensic investigators looking for fingerprints, I suppose. Plus it's saved me from painting the inside of the house. The problem is the dog and cat have turned the same color, too, and I can't find them. Come to think of it, they probably can't find me, either.

But what's underneath that orange stuff? It's either very hard or very soft. It can't possibly be the same stuff, could it? The ingredients say it's maize corn, but that's hard to believe. Styrofoam, maybe. If space aliens made the stuff, I could easily believe that. Still, for the crunchy ones, it's hard to trust something that someone could carve a housekey from and use to break into your house.

The thing is that they put my favorite thing, salt, all over it. I say just cut out the other stuff and give me a big bag of salt.

I just found a Cheeto on my keyboard. Want it? Here it is: ~. Kinda small, though.