Cheese sandwich of doom

ARRRGHHH!!! It's a Cheese sandwich of doom, run for your clean hands!

Properties of the Cheese sandwich of doom

• The Cheese sandwich of doom can flow over ground on a lubricating layer of grease.
• It can defeat opposing breakfast-based snacks with bolts of grease lightning.
• It consumes smaller weaker cheese and/or/? bread based foods in epic chase scenes choreographed by The Matrix people.
• It stomach erosion powers are secondly only to the Big Mac.
• It's cheese is strong enough to kill french people.
• It's Italian cheese

and finally,

• It's bread is toasted, nicely toasted.

Instructions to the construction of the Cheese sandwich of doom

• Take a bit of sugar
• And spice
• and everything nice
• then burn it so it's toasted, nicely toasted.
• Start again
• Toast some bread nicely
• Grate an old man's foot over the bread
• Toss pie in (preferably mango but apple works).
• Heat the mixture over a fire conjured by Dumbeldore, or "Brenda" as he likes to be called.
• Glare at it whilst coaching it to play sports, using phrases like "girl-pants".
• Make it eat a Big Mac (this stage can prove fatal on both parties).
• Leave it to stand in boiling fat for a minute or so.