Charles Ponzi

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Charles Ponzi (née Chalusu Pantu チャルスパンツ, 19491981) was the only man known in human history who lived his life backwards. Born in 1949 slightly after World War II in Hiroshima, Japan, his early childhood was spent in his devastated homeland nuclear waste. As he grew older, the Japanese government surrendered, and he survived the atomic bombing, specifically because he lived his life backwards (and perhaps the bomb-proof, ten-inch thick radiation suit he liked to wear). He witnessed the un-upraising of Japanese imperialism, unfortunately his account of the historic events are somewhat blurred due to the fact he had his back to the action. Being thus inspired, he invented the famous Ponzi scheme and became a famous economist. He emigrated to the America in 1903 on the back of the baby delivering stalk and enjoyed welfare until his death in 1888, apparently being unchoked by a piece salmon bone; which is rather stupid really because the salmon in question had died a day previously - I mean how can a dead fish kill, err, unkill you!

It is interesting that his birth last name means "panties" in Japanese. Whilst his middle name is subject to change throughout the duration of job interviews to ensure he sounds like a worthy candidate (even though he's not - killed by a dead fish, come on)!

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