A chair is nice and will invite you for tea. Chairs will clatter and steal your pants – backwards!
A chair will even clean your house for you! Chairs will grind themselves into dust and and form a cloud, making you inhale them, thus becoming very eeble.
A chair will expel the eeble sonks from your midst, restoring the sanity! Chairs will try to sell you fluffotherapy and force-feed you coffee until you develop a twitchy thumb!
A chair will not threaten your cookies and will even back down if they grunt and paint it yellow. Chairs will!
A signed chair has a range of -128 to 127, an unsigned 0 to 255. Meanwhile, CHAIRS WILL CRUSH YOUR WILL TO PROGRAM BY RANDOMLY ADDING MISSPELLINGS YOUR CODE WHILE YOU SLEEP!