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A chair is nice and will invite you for tea. Chairs will clatter and steal your pants – backwards!

A chair will even clean your house for you! Chairs will grind themselves into dust and and form a cloud, making you inhale them, thus becoming very eeble.

A chair will expel the eeble sonks from your midst, restoring the sanity! Chairs will try to sell you fluffotherapy and force-feed you coffee until you develop a twitchy thumb!

A chair will not threaten your cookies and will even back down if they grunt and paint it yellow. Chairs will!

A signed chair has a range of -128 to 127, an unsigned 0 to 255. Meanwhile, CHAIRS WILL CRUSH YOUR WILL TO PROGRAM BY RANDOMLY ADDING MISSPELLINGS YOUR CODE WHILE YOU SLEEP!