Casino Royale

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Casino Royale[edit]

Directed by Blake Edwards, Dan Aykroyd's Father, Dan Rowan, Dick Martin, and Mel Brooks

Written by Ian Fleming and Groucho Marx

Starring-Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Orson Welles, Woody Allen, Goldie Hawn, Deborah Kerr, Troy McClure, Ruth Buzzi, Lilly Tomlin,Scrooge McDuck, Loopy de Loop, John Cleese, Rowan Atkison, Henry Gibson, Austin Powers, Richard Dawson, Artie Johnson, Frank Sinatra, Mia Farrow, Secret Squirrel, Twiggy, Igniknot, and Err.

Produced by Hanna-Barbera

Distributed by Columbia Pictures

Release date-13 April 1967 (UK), 13 June 1967 (USA)

Runtime-131 min.

Language-English, French, Scottish

Budget-$120,000,000 (estimated)

“Bond, James Bond”- David Niven on James Bond

“Bond, Jamie Bond”- Mia Farrow on Jamie Bond

Casino Royale is not only a book by the maker of James Bond, but also a movie with the same title. But this would be the first and last James Bond Spoof until 1997 when Austin Powers would be released.


James Bond (Played by David Niven) is a retired Spy who fought in World War I as a British Spy. He's visited by EEEEEEEEE (played by John Cleese), a CIA Representitive (played by Artie Johnson), A Russian Reversal (played by Henry Gibson), and a Sissy-ass Frenchman (played by Frank Sinatra for some odd-ass reason). They try to encourage James Bond to get out of retirement since SMASH is trying to destroy all the secret agents all over the world, even Queen Elizabeth II told him to get off your ass and help the bloody country of England! But the reason why Bond retired from spying because 008 (Played by Troy McClure) took over and Hoda Kotb was either dead or missing in Germany. As Bond was talking to his guests, his house gets blown-up and EEEEEEEEE dies.

So Bond goes to Scotland and visits the McDuck Mansion (which is actually a McMansion) and he meets the widow of EEEEEEEEE (Played by Lilly Tomlin) but was actually a worker for SMASH and the house was full of EEEEEEEEE's replacement daughters. Bond would fight with the master of the house Scrooge McDuck and won after Scrooge embarassed himself by exposing himself to the ladies.

Bond would later return to London and see that his office was untouched for 50 years at the MI3, but he sees that Moneypenny (played by Goldie Hawn) and Cooper (played by Rowan Atkison) were actually the decendants of Moneypenny and Cooper, respectfully...Well in 1929, both Moneypenny and Cooper got married and their son and daughter were named after their parents. This time, James Bond would bring out his Weapon of Mass Destruction...Detainee (played by Ruth Buzzi).

Then James Bond hires Amanda Love (played by Ursula Andress) who seduces Evenlyn Tremble (played by Peter Sellers) by having him play Texas Hold Em against Les Ours (which is Orson T. Pig voiced by Orson Welles) who laundered SMASH's Money, so he gets shot.

After getting another clue, James Bond visits Hoda Bond (played by Mia Farrow) in India and asks her to go to Berlin so that she can go to her mother's house and try to destroy the Berlin Wall and destroy Hitler's brain which are all in the University of SMASH. Hoda finds out that USA, France, Germany, Russia, and China were trying to buy Germany so that they can declare World War V. Hoda then gets hold of the slides and shows a World War II film as she flushes all evidence down the toilet. So Les Ours, who tried to buy Germany for France now has to face Evelyn at Texas Hold Em at the Casino Royale in Monaco.

Tremble and Love come into the Casino and play Texas Hold Em against Les Ours and realized that Les Ours used sunglasses to cheat. So Tremble wears another kind of glasses to counter-attack. But when Les Ours tried to capture Tremble and Love, he dies in a bloodbath!

Meanwhile in London, Hoda Bond was seeing London for the very first time and she gets captured by aliens from The Moon (played by The Mooninites) who work for SMASH and send her to the Casino Royale. So James Bond and Moneypenny try to save her and sees that the whole acts of this was none other than...Dr. Noah (played by Woody Allen). He was going to build an ark and save two of every creature, three of his men, and three lovely ladies as well as Hoda. But Detainee gave Dr. Noah a drink that would blow him up.

Knowing the fate of his nephew and the Casino, James Bond tries to clear the Casino, but the place gets the police, A Leigionnaire (played by Loopy de Loop), cowboys, Indians, The Village People, and some seals. Once Jimmy Bond (Dr. Noah) hiccuped the last time...everyone in this movie died!


This movie was supposed to spark the "Summer of Love" and try to get people to Tune-in to the theaters. This movie is one of the 'Censored 11' movies (next to "Deep Throat" and "The Three Caballeros") in this manner since it spun peoples heads.

Leonard Maltin gave this film 2 1/2 stars...not bad. Roger Ebert gave this film a Middle-Finger Up, but Gene Siskel gave it a Middle-Finger Down. Jay Sherman] liked this film...particulary for it's sponsors itself! [1][2]Here's David Niven accepting the Oscar for Best Actor in Casino Royale.The Picture itself was Nominated for 11 Oscars, including Best Damn Picture Of The Year Ever, Period. But it only won for Best Score and Best Actor.

The Sequel[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Casino Royale, or simply go here.

There was a sequel called "Assino Royale" which was to be a porno. However, the sequel was even worse than the original. The plot was still the same, the cast was still the same, but some of the cast would be naked. The movie was panned and it was considered one of the worst porn films ever.


  • Sean Connery was to play one of the James Bonds, but he couldn't be reached since he was having sex with Alex Trebek's Mother at the time.
  • Loopy de Loop was originally given the role for Sissy-French Spy, but he insisted for the role of the Legionnaire as well as sing the Theme Song, which was supposed to be sung by Tom Jones, but rejected it for some reason.
  • The Theme song is played by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and the rest of the music was written by Sergio Mendes].
  • Inspector Clouseau was supposed to have a role in this film, but was taken out at the last minute.
  • Orson Welles and Peter Sellers actually had a feud while filming, so he had his son Orson T. Pig play as Les Ours and he'd do the voices. And the Welles/Sellers feud is to be seen on the DVD edition of this movie.
  • The Beatles were supposed to provide the music for Casino Royale, but they were later released on "Sgt. Pepper"
  • Hanna-Barbera produced this film because they wanted to try and stay in Columbia Studios, but once the film tanked both Hanna-Barbera were kicked-out and went elsewhere.
  • Frank Sinatra didn't even talk to Mia Farrow during the filming, but Woody Allen did. Once that happened...Sinatra would divorce Farrow.
  • Rowan and Martin were supposed to star in the film, but instead directed it. Most of the cast would later be on "Laugh-In".

The 2006 Movie[edit]

This version is more different than the 1967 Version. This time, Matt Damon is James Bond and it's rewritten to be a little more serious than the 1967 version. The 2006 version earned 5 stars and not everybody died in this version.

The 2006 film also has more action than laughter.