Bubble gum

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A rather icky substance that, although seemingly inert, has a tendency to stick to shoes. They come in many colors, including the genus le rouge cest la'vie (red, or french gum), or burritoflavor criminalthink hardcore (green, or mexican gum), or other types. Canadian gum is not allowed to exist, because frankly, no one wants a sticky wad of maple syrup in their mouth. Although it is said to be very tasty, this is only ordinary (genus de suckiness comparus to illoginess) gum. All the other flavors range from orange, to taco, to lemon.

The Gum Sentiency Theory[edit]

Many scientists believe that gum, in fact, is sentient; this is mostly due to the theory that . Many scientists believe this, due to the fact gum IS TEH R0XX)R IN MEH BOXXOR! However, others question the fact that something sentiency would want to be stepped on, repeatedly, probably killed (though, see below), or other fallacies, such as the person stepping in doggy doo with the gum still on their shoe.

Delving into the Theory[edit]

  • It can be assumed, that due to the immense pain caused by being latched to the shoe of a human being, that gum is invincible.