Brian Vickers

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Bruce-Brian Lee Vickers (born in 1983 in Tokyo, Japan) is the son of Billy Ray Cyrus and Tamia Christ. He is a dumb redneck ricer punk who drives a NASCAR car made of Red Bull cans. He used to race for Jeff Gordon's race team but left to join Team Red Bull for the free red bull, and the fact that the Red Bull car is a Japanese Toyota Camry with a giant Red Bull sticker and a huge spoiler.

Racing with Jeff Gordon[edit]

Before he turned into a ricer punk, he raced in the minor leagues for Hendrick Motorsports and was the youngest champion ever. He moved up to the majors and sucked his first 2 years. Then he wrecked Dale Jr. to win a race and changed his name to Brian Wreckers.

Red Bull[edit]

When Team Red Bull wanted somebody semi-OK for their new NASCAR team, they chose Brian Vickers to drive theit little load of Jap Crap with a giant spoiler in exchange for a lifetime supply of Red Bull. He failed to qualify for 10 races and only finished in the top 5 once. That means he sucks worse than a Hoover. With one signature on a contract sheet, he went from superstar teammate to Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson to become a punk ricer just for some free Red Bull.

Car[edit]

Vickers's race car is a Camry made of Red Bullscheisse cans. It also runs on Red Bull, so he is the most environmentally-conscious driver because the car burns no fossil fuel. That makes him Weird Al Gore's favorite driver. If you look on the left quarter panel on his Toyota the car, you will see a VTec sticker on it. His car also has the highest spoiler, most stickers, the loudest and widest exhaust, and is the only car on the track with neon lights and 14 inch spinners.

Personal life[edit]

Brian enjoys going to NAPA and Hot Import Nights to buy useless parts for his rice rocket. Being the son of Billy Ray Cyrus, he is a redneck. He does the things (stereo)typical rednecks do, like huntin', fishin', chewin' tobacco, and Ku-Kluxklanimation Since he is a 24 year old redneck, he is still in seventh grade. His favorite football team is the Dallas Cowgirls and he would rather watch formula scone instead of The Highlander.

NAME NAME NAME[edit]

The most famous part about Brian Vickers isnt that he can't drive a race car, but his name is BRIANBRIANBRIAN!!!