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I really hate it when that happens.

Bowling may be the greatest sport ever. For it allows you to play it with a beer in your hand. Only drunk driving has the same appeal.

The sport is highly regulated with many arcane and complicated rules. It must now be played with a ball of regulation size and weight. No more of this 50-ton-boulder-being-dropped-by-a-glacier business that really slowed down the game in its early years. Cannons, once commonly used to launch bowling balls, are now banned due to recent anti-smoking nanny laws.

In fact, bowling is now dominated by fashionistas. Special bowling-only shoes are a must, along with special clothing allowing free range of movement to avoid spilling beer. Bowling balls now come in a variety of colors and patterns to fool pterodactyls that may be lurking, ready to grab any moving object. Therefore, bowlers must always keep an eye on their nachos, just in case.

Today, scores are calculated by The Matrix as if it didn't have better things to do. So, bowling league rankings are determined by how well someone has treated machines in the past week.