Bob Barker

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Bob Barker is the founding father of the AAAA (Animal Abuse Activists of America) and has been ruthlessly torturing animals by severing their reproductive organs, both internal and external, since approximately 1975. He and Ed McMahon started the AAAA together and began their rituals by luring stray cats and alley kittens into their mansion with raw bird meat and exorbitant amounts of catnip, the likes of which have yet to be matched in quantity in the time since. Pundits believe Barker and McMahon began the organization following their unwilling surgery to have their conjoined heads separated several years prior. The anger built up from them no longer sharing the same brain resulted in much pain for these animals.

  AAAA is not linked at all with the AAAAh vandal, honest  


The Price is Right[edit]

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For over 35 years, Barker ran the AAAA under the guise of being the host for a game show. Though his joyous smile and old-man charm were pleasing to the viewers, few knew what he was up to just several feet backstage, where he had an operating table lined with numerous animals of varying species. Barker possessed an uncontainable urge to "spay" and/or "neuter" an animal as often as humanly possible, whether it was in his home, on his way to work, backstage, or behind the milk in the large refrigerator in your local grocery store. Wherever he was, Barker made his goal clear, and it had nothing to do with "controlling the pet population."