Nope! You got the wrong guy. I am innocent of everything! You're just looking for an easy target, ain'tcha? Well, I got alibis up the yingyang. You just try and pin something on me, I dare ya! I'll have lawyers crawling on your back quicker than you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I know people that know people, ya dig? So don't push your luck.
Just because that bowl of oatmeal was spilled on the floor right near me doesn't mean a thing. You've got no witnesses, even though I admit that it's my bowl of oatmeal. Now, I didn't see it, mind you, but I think maybe the cat did it. Or maybe, just maybe, the teddy bear. He's the one with guilty look on his face. Why don't you give him the third degree?
Then bring me some Ice cream.