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“We brought you a cake! Where can we plug it in?”

~ Nikola Tesla and his evil car

“6. July”

“I did or did not get you a gift.”

~ Schrödinger's cat

“The more we looked at your birth date, the more we were uncertain as to exactly when it was.”

~ Werner Heisenberg

“Fizzics, huh? I know all about it. I made the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs after all.”

~ Han Solo

“Greetings! The time of you torture and sacrifice is nigh! Fear me!!!”

~ Siri

“Our records show that you were born on Sonkday. Please fill out this form and tell us how that happened.”

~ Big Brother