Biggus Dickus is the most famous Roman of them all. Unfortunately, there is no record of his existence, much to the dismay of cougars and gays. Still, this may be due to the fact that it was illegal to have a penis larger than the emperor's, which is why they kept killing them. This led to a period when being a eunuch was popular., just in case. The Vandals finally got sick of this and attacked Rome in 534 AD.
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