Benjamin Franklin

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“Everytime I enter a store, people tell me "we can't break a hundred dollar bill"”

“I liked it when you did the song Respect

“That was Aretha”

“Benjamin Aretha?”

“When I wanted to make the turkey the national symbol, I wasn't thinking of you”

“Ooooo, burn!”

~ Nero
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Benjamin Franklin, or simply go here.