Beerserk

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A beerserk is an elite viking warrior from Scandinavia. He is trained and naturally equipped to demoralize, confuse and initiate heavy self-destructive processes in enemy armies by sneaking into their bases and support points and destroying combative spirit, comradship and general vital spirit by emptying all depots of alcoholic beverage in a very short time. In most cases beerserks have to sacrifice their lives to accomplish the mission, but they are fanatically willing to do that, because only by dying a honorable death on the fields of battle they will get to Walhaaahahaha-hicks-barf-la, the Viking heaven, where they will sit amongst the norse Gods of War Thor, Odin, Grååårrghh, IKEA and the already fallen Viking beerserks under their god-like venerated beerserk Generål I.M. Stewed of the 1.st Viking Hævy Drifters ånd Dråfters and Tjodalf Kvargnårr, the greatest of them all with overall body height of 3,68 meters.

Effectivity[edit]

Beerserks have a devastating impact on enemy armies which can not yet be put in numbers or reports, because the outbreaking sobriety among the enemy soldiers causes such great panic and chaos, that no one survives, who could tell what happened.

History And Future[edit]

In the past there were several beerserk survivors who were conceived as heroes when returning to Scandinavia, but it is kept safe where beerserks were deployed to, what makes it difficult to analyse the past missions of beerserks. The unit is strictly advised not to answer on any topic concerning the unit and if impossible to refuse answer, answer with "I forgot. Huh, about what, anyway?!?" To not endanger identities and missions, documents are written in a special boozed-up-handwriting-looking code. This system of security granted maximum survivability for succesful beerserks, but nowadays they reached almost a 100% death toll, since the Mullahs have made being shot at when having a long beard popular.

But that has no effect whatsoever on the amazing run on the recruiting offices for the elite unit. Observers from foreign countries remark beerserk recruiting offices do look like public toilets where you do not need to pay for usage when you subscribe some contract, but that is just envious communistic propaganda.

See Also[edit]