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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Bears, or simply go here.

B...Bears! are annoying little purple things that you can get in the form of puppets. For this reason they have no legs. They also talk in annoyingly dumb voices and very commonly piss off Mr. Prank. Well it would piss me off too ta be honest wiv ya.

Come on you know this is very true. I get ALL my knowledge from children's TV shows :) What else is there to do on a ripe afternoon before your chicken drumsticks are ready for tea?

A conversation about bears[edit]

Taken from the personal diary of Samuel Beeps:

Man 1: "Looks like we have to walk through this forest."
Man 2: "Forest? Oh no! What if there are monsters?"
Man 3: "Don't be stupid, there are no monsters in the forest."
Man 1: "Well, there are bears."

Bear Factoids: Bears are large and brown. Except for the baby ones. Bears derive their name from a football team in Chicago. It is estimated that bears kill over two million salmon a year. Attacks by salmon on bears are much more rare.

  • My logic is practically unbearable!

A tricky situation with bears No.1[edit]

Man 1: I'm really sorry but we have no porridge left. You've bought it all. Were out of stock.
Bear 1: I don't give a crap. You have 24 hours to supply the goods...
Bear 2: Yeah, or else you get a feel of the grizzley wrath.
(Bears laugh amongst each other)
Man 1: Whimper! I'm just a shelf stacker...