Beachy the Hermit Baby
In 1143 b.b., (before babies) A baby hermit baby was born into the Willis family, from Mary Willis. Mary was actually a human, who had sex with a hermit crab. They named him Beachy, who was half human, half hermit crab. The entire Willis family loved Beachy, and they wanted him to become successful, as no one could get a job. They all got arrested for kicking a 2-year old in the balls. They wanted him to become a millionaire, as this was their one and only chance to get out of poverty. Unfortunately, Beachy never spoke or understood his family, so he tried to perceive what they were saying. He thought that they were telling him to live alone on a beach. So, as a result, he wen out and traveled to a beach, dug a deep hole in the sand, and crawled in there. He was determined to live here, where nobody could find him. Little did he know that he would die 7 days late from starvation, as he had no family to feed him. He died 7 days later from starvation because he was not with his family, so they could not feed him.
Thus, hermits were invented, and babies started entering the world.