Battle with Testostereich

Testostereich summons Testostereich

Testostereich is turned on by your Harry Potter knowledge. He swipes his SexWand at you - you take 123.7 pleasure.

You -- HP: Orgasmic
Attack	Magic	Skill	Item
Inflatable hammer	Extensive Harry Potter Knowledge	Shoe Polishing	£0.52
My Chemical Romance CDs	Voodoo	Pressing ESC in panic	Razor Blades

Testicles starts to get a bit rough. He pulls out his twice used condom and whips you with the banana skin 'til you're red raw. You try and pay him off but he eats all your money before forcing you to lick up all your shoe polish. You hammer the ESC key but nothing happens; Testicles cruelly pops your beloved inflatable hammer to make you cry. You take extensive mental damage.

You -- HP: 2000 + low self esteem
Attack	Magic	Skill	Item
Deflated mess	Extensive Harry Potter Knowledge (Useless)	Empty shoe polish box	Skint
My Chemical Romance CDs	Voodoo	Pressing ESC in panic	Razor Blades

You eventually lift Testostereich off of your body using Voodoo. Your attempts to escape fail when you're lured back into the battle scene by an attracting pyramid scheme.

As you sign the various forms needed to sell your soul to santa join the scheme, Testostereich gets bored and tries to get rid of his crotch stain with his "magic hands". You lose track of time and mellow out to the soothing sounds of My Chemical Romance. Testostereich overhears, unprepared for their happy clappy tunes he quickly becomes emo. He steals your razor blade and cuts his wrists - BallSack takes bibicly proportioned damage.

Testostereich -- HP= Epic Fail
Attack	Magic	Summon	Item	Skill
"Oh no, I'm bleeding."	Broken SexWand	A small Turkish man, known only as "Gunter" - he never turned up did he	Thrice-Used Condom	Graphic photo's of his wife "Whaley"?
Super-fudge	"Regular Hands"	Testicles	A half scratched off groin stain	A Manky banana skin splattered with blood and, uhh, other juices

You win! Now you're a complete social outcast, Yaaaay!!

Congratulations, you've slain a Scrotum!!