Battle of Snacky Gopher

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The Battle of Snacky Gopher[edit]

Yo, if you didn't notice, gophers hide underground for a reason. If you lilly-livers don't know why, here is the story of The Battle of Snacky Gopher.

Once upon a Wednesday, there was a gopher who screwed-up and forgot to buy to buy the doughnuts. His commanding officer, the badger was a spit about it, and he started a war about it. But the angry badgers soon found out the Commander Badger was diabetic, and he tried to blow himself up, but the grenade didn't work. So from then on till they commit suicide themselves, gophers will forever hide underground.

The Skirmish of the Snausage Eating Wolverines[edit]

But then, out from the carcass of the dead badger commander came a new threat to the gopher kingdom... the Snausage Eating Wolverines.

When the gophers first found out about the Snausage Eating Wolverines they started thinking they should burrow under The University of Michigan's football stadium, and fling dead wolverines on to the field. But little did they know these wolverines were from Ontario, Canada. They went into battle and they soon realized these wolverines just wanted to sell them some Jones Soda. But the gophers did not like gifts from new neighbors, and they hated burrow to burrow sales-mammals. They then decided it was time for them to trick the wolverines into thinking an old big rig was part of the burrow. It worked, but then it turned violent as they started to carry out a secret plan. They threw a dead rabbit drenched in some tranquilizer, and drove the sleepy wolverines to a tailgating party out side of the snausage eating fan filled stadium. If you think people eating snausages made for dogs is crazy, then try hundreds of angry wolverines who had not eating in weeks swarming the stands full of people eating dog treats on opening day. The gophers soon put on Ohio State mini-helmets they bought from a beagle across the street and watched the event unfold.