Barbeque sauce

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Barbeque sauce is a thing of many uses, but can be a real hassle. it works great on cereal, and it can be used to remove stains on clothes by simply covering them up. During a tsunami, you can slow down the tsunami by pouring barbeque sauce on it and maybe your little brothers buzz lightyear doll. but barbeque sauce has a large lethality rate and should not be thought of at any time. ever.

For example, one time there was a man. He was at a barbeque. It turned out to be a normal babeque... except that the man died. Of an overdose of... you guessed it... mayo. Now, does that prove how deadly barbeque sauce can be? No? So i should stop witing then, right? what's that? i should and you hate this? I guess i should stop answering your questions for you, then.

The last time barbeques included 100% barbeque sauce, was about 2 days before the bubonic plague began. and i mean the first one, back in Sumeria. not the one from 1784. No more is the old plutonium-based biohazard flavoured barbeque sauce used either, for reasons unknown to the people that inhabit the inside of my head. Probably because it helped start world war 9, back when they had dinosaurs and cavemen and lightbulbs. Those are just 2 of the 3 types of babeque sauce that are't in use anymore. They don't use the spicy kind either, but thats still smuggled into countries by supermarkets.

Now, i will list the many uses for pickle-like barbeque sauce, the leading type of barbeque sauce on the market...

  1. making your breafast taste better
  2. reenacting the battle of the pass of thermopylae
  3. reenacting horrible scenes of people with 100% barbeque sauce
  4. put some in your shoes each day for good luck
  5. using as fuel for your car
  6. mixing with brown sugar and putting in your sandwiches
  7. using as a secret ingredient in your "homemade" babeque sauce
  8. deep frying horse hooves
  9. walking aroud all day with a 50/50 mix of barbeque sauce ad baby food in an empty jam jar
  10. buiding models with
  11. using it as a codiment
  12. quickly leafing through or completely skippig this list because you don't care about it
  13. destroying Dr. Maximillians evil minions
  14. saving peoples lives.

And, last but surely least,

15. googling qoutes from movies that have the words barbeque sauce in them

I hope you enjoyed my list, and if you didn't i am probably crying because of that, but i have one more thing to say and i am done. que dramatic music... that thing is... There are two ways to not get kiled by various types of barbeque sauce. number 1 being using common logic (tough luck on that) and staying away from it. Number 2 involves forgetting this article for the rest of your life, and is more likely by far.


This article is dedicated to my faithful hat.