Bahamas

From Wackypedia
Jump to: navigation, search

The Bahamas is a nation made up of a whole bunch of islands in Caribbean.

Its economy has been boom-or-bust until recent years. When Christopher Columbus arrived, he enslaved nearly EVERYBODY and took them to Hispanola (now Haiti and the Dominican Republic). So, just like that: zero economy. That is, until the British arrived and decided they needed slaves, now from Africa. Pirates liked the location along shipping routes and the many islands to hide in, plus the large number of pasta restaurants for followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. After a long struggle where neither side could find the other to fight, piracy was suppressed by changing all the restaurants to McDonald's. This began the nation's tourist industry, as visitors would arrive and always insist on the same old food eaten in an exotic location rather than what natives ate.

Tourism came at the right time because 90% of the Bahamas economy was previously based on piracy. But keeping with pirate traditions, the Bahamas became a banking and tax haven for the wealthy to hide their loot. This piracy is all supported by the government and by the US Navy with a huge base on Andros island, so that no investigation of the baking system is possible unless a reporter wants to get a cruise missile dropped on them.