BRAT jumping

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Devil's got new kicks! Adidas, too! Christian churches have distanced themselves from godless shoe companies that support BRAT jumping, but still continue to take bets on it during Sunday services.

You've probably heard of BASE jumping, but have you heard of BRAT jumping?

This is the new extreme sport taking the world by storm. In it, the BRAT jumper allows himself or herself to be possessed by either the Devil or Satan Bunny, the latter having more jumping capability. Full possession is indicated when the jumper is completely willing to wear a clown suit without shame. Then babies are put in the street for the jumper to hopefully leap over.

BRAT jumping was started as a sport by Evel Knievel, always in league with the Devil, who jumped 4,527 babies with his motorcycle but crashed on landing due to Satan Bunny touching the brakes. With evil athletic shoe company sponsorship taking over from largely Buddhist motorcycle manufacturers, the extreme sport turned into a foot-powered one.

Traditionally, this was supposed to absolve the babies of original sin and left them free to start on their own path of evil. You'd think the Devil would just grab the babies and eat them or something. Today, exploding babies are mixed in with normal ones plus demons from the Japanese canon are disguised as babies as a challenge to jumpers. Even without these obstacles, jumpers can still be tripped by a flailing Muppet baby. Jumpers aided by demonic possession try to complete a circuit of a town without losing any body parts but also compete with each other for style points and loaded diapers avoided.

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