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Unibrow Grapefruit Washington was a Mississippi Delta bluesman. You couldn't tell by the name?

Obscure to the nth degree, Washington was not discovered by musicologists until 1963, a time when they had nothing better to do. It was not until 2011 that it was found that Unibrow Grapefruit Washington was not his real name, and that he was not an African-American, but Caucasian.

Born Wellington Marchville Pierpont Collingsworth III, Washington, as he came to be known, grew up
Read on...

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So there I was in chainsaw church as usual when I looked over and saw that Phil guy, and he's wearing a suit! Now this is a Texas Reformed congregation and you don't need to dress up like that. Just remember to wear your mask made of human skin and that's enough. So when everyone was staring, Phil pretended he found a loose thread on that suit. That's when he whipped out a brand new Makita 8250 Forestmaster to trim it off! And the dang thing
Read on...

Did you know...

  • ... that sharks continually regrow new teeth, making your new career as a shark dentures salesperson a complete joke?
  • ... that exempt for turtles, humans are the the only animal that can proofread?
  • ... that dinosaurs are playing with firecrackers inside the hollow Earth?
  • ... that it's time?
  • ... that if you have a song in your heart, it must now be in a compatible format?
  • ... in a race between a sloth and continental drift, the sloth wins only 16% of the time?
  • ... it took a real long time, but somebody finally gave light a speeding ticket.
  • ... that leaving no stone unturned means including Mick and Keith?
  • ... that the US Open is a lie and closes after 9PM? How's someone going to get a hot dog and a drink then?
  • ... that confuzzlement is its own reward?
  • ... that Leo Tolstoy began writing War and Peace on Wackypedia's DidYouKnow but quit after failing to grasp HTML tags?
  • ... that that's that and not a ziggurat?
  • ... All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
  • ... that the exact date can be figured by the length of day, so long as you have a long enough ruler to do the measurement?
  • ... that a pie in the face is worth two in the bush?
  • ... the hoover was invented by Henry Vacuum Cleaner?
  • ... that eating spaghetti while riding a roller coaster is not a good idea? Ask me how I know.
  • ... that lightning never strikes twice in the same place unless it does just that?
  • ... the lunatics have taken over the asylum? That means I get to choose meatloaf for dinner!
  • ... that I know you knew ten minutes before I wrote this that I would write this? And I knew it ten minutes before you even thought that?
  • ... that I'm Barry Scott?!! I'm here to tell you that Cillit Bang gets those tough mayo stains out of your sink, and not just on Cinco de Mayo!
  • ... that orange is the new orange? Again.
  • ... I have pants made of live ostriches and I'm not afraid to use it?
  • ... that colorless ideas may sleep furiously, but only Elon Musk can snore in pinkness while the entire world is awake?
  • ... that on 4 December 1857, in northern Canada, shit happened?
  • ... that the fastest animal in the universe is the housecat, who can rip through the fabric of space-time and your best clothes simultaneously?
  • ... that bananas are the cause of more fruit-related accidents than Harry Potter?
  • ... boredom is its own reward?
  • ...that Chief Little Crow (1810-1863) spent much of his life in Minnesota, where he was the head of a Santee band?
  • ...that the duchy of Upper Bavaria was created for the first time with the First Bavarian partition in 1255 under duke Louis II but there was no exact identity with the current territory?
  • ...that NuBlues was discovered by Grammy Award-winning artist Chris Thomas King, known to many for his performance in O’ Brother, but well known also as a performer in his own right?
  • ...that in 2000, Madoka Mako produced a manga titled The History of Japanese Christianity, a controversial work among Japanese Christians?
  • ...that negative pulldown describes the film perforations per frame, the direction of film transport, and standard frame speed?

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Seemed like a good idea at the time

Obligatory shark image.
Are you prepared? Are you a candelabra?

He looks just like you! Sorry, she.

The cake is NOT a lie! It's right there under the rattlesnake cake topper, I just know it!

The Tower of Babel was just a bungalow. Pass it on.

Fish fry fiddle flapjack. Fnord. All your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base.



The mysterious message left at the site of the Lost Colony of Roanoke.


I'm taking requests. Headhunter by Front 242? A-one, a-two...


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