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What would we do without August?

Summer would be very short for one. We should give thanks to Augustus Caesar for coming to the rescue and adding 43 days to the calendar so that lizards could do a little more basking on rocks. August also became the month for harvesting TV dinners. And there would be no swinging pool noodles at vampire bats without August. And who could forget warm summer nights perfect for hijacking trucks carrying molten sulfur? Even though it doesn't have a good holiday like Repetitive Groundhog Day, it's a great month, what with alien abductions and all.