Astronomy Wars:The Umpire Strikes Out
Scene: Planet. Ice. Cold.
Two men walk up to each other. Something hits the ground
Man 1: It is quite cold, wouldn't you say?
Man 2: Say, where is my toe?
Man 1: Blasted, Puke! You lost your toe again? This time I'm telling the princess!
Puke: No! Not princess Laidup! Anything but that!
Man 2: OK, you go check out that thing that hit the ground. I'm going back to Hollow Base.
Puke: It's a deal!
Man 1 walks AWAY... Puke goes to thing in GrounD. Big Yeti thing shows up.
Yeti thing: Rawr.
Yeti thing: Dearest me... would you like some tea? How about I have you for dinner?
Yeti makes tea. Rips off pukes arm and eats it for dinner. Sticks a ruBBer one on. Attaches him to roof
Puke: Use the Horse!
Gets thing. Turns it on BLUE LIGHT! Kills yeti and passes out in snow. Glowing old man appears
Glowing old man: Puke! I'm dead. You watched me die. Go to that bubbling place and find some green lump so you can kill your dad.
Puke: Ugh. I think I'm going to pass out.
Man 1 returns on thing. Bad effects
Man 1: Puke!
Giant metal thing walks up. Gun shoots laSer be,ams. Flying doo-dads.
Dak: Ouch, my ear. My contact came out! Puke, slow dow--
flying thing crashes. Dak is dead, look jumps out and makes a rainbow. Metal thing a-splodes. Dog and Man 1 and gold robot and trash can robot and laidup are running
Man 1: Uh-oh spaghettios! This way is blocked. We have to go through the Nuteral zone!
Laidup: Han, your a hunky playboy. Let's have sex.
han: Later, hotty! Dog, start up the engines!
The peeps fly AWAY. Puke is in swamp with trash can'
Trash can: Beep Doot Beep
Puke: Shut up, P5. I have to find a giant booger.
Green thing coMEs out. Carrying stiCK.
Booger: Found me you have. Yogurt my name is.
Puke: Are you thick and creamy? My insides feel as though they are going to burst...
Booger: follow me, you shall. To my mud hut we go. Party time!
They gO. Training ensues, ship gets out Of WaTer. Puke Flies AWAY
Puke: U1! Shut the fuck up! Im trying to listen to my favorite tunes.
Han and DOg And Laidup are in CLouds. Black guy gReATs them. Han gets turNed into rock.
Puke: OMg It's Dart Wader!
They turn on light things
Dart Wader: I am your father.
Hand GeTs choPPed off. The ENd'
To be continued...