Astronomy Wars:The Umpire Strikes Out

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The movie poster. It looks eerily similar to something...

Scene: Planet. Ice. Cold.

Two men walk up to each other. Something hits the ground

Man 1: It is quite cold, wouldn't you say?

Man 2: Say, where is my toe?

Man 1: Blasted, Puke! You lost your toe again? This time I'm telling the princess!

Puke: No! Not princess Laidup! Anything but that!

Man 2: OK, you go check out that thing that hit the ground. I'm going back to Hollow Base.

Puke: It's a deal!

Man 1 walks AWAY... Puke goes to thing in GrounD. Big Yeti thing shows up.

Yeti thing: Rawr.

Puke: Ahhh!

Yeti thing: Dearest me... would you like some tea? How about I have you for dinner?

Puke: Delightful!

Yeti makes tea. Rips off pukes arm and eats it for dinner. Sticks a ruBBer one on. Attaches him to roof

Puke: Use the Horse!

Gets thing. Turns it on BLUE LIGHT! Kills yeti and passes out in snow. Glowing old man appears

Glowing old man: Puke! I'm dead. You watched me die. Go to that bubbling place and find some green lump so you can kill your dad.

Puke: Ugh. I think I'm going to pass out.

Man 1 returns on thing. Bad effects

Man 1: Puke!

Puke: Ugh.

Giant metal thing walks up. Gun shoots laSer be,ams. Flying doo-dads.


Dak: Ouch, my ear. My contact came out! Puke, slow dow--

flying thing crashes. Dak is dead, look jumps out and makes a rainbow. Metal thing a-splodes. Dog and Man 1 and gold robot and trash can robot and laidup are running

Man 1: Uh-oh spaghettios! This way is blocked. We have to go through the Nuteral zone!


Laidup: Han, your a hunky playboy. Let's have sex.

han: Later, hotty! Dog, start up the engines!

Dog: Rawr!

The peeps fly AWAY. Puke is in swamp with trash can'

Trash can: Beep Doot Beep

Puke: Shut up, P5. I have to find a giant booger.

Green thing coMEs out. Carrying stiCK.

Booger: Found me you have. Yogurt my name is.

Puke: Are you thick and creamy? My insides feel as though they are going to burst...

Booger: follow me, you shall. To my mud hut we go. Party time!

They gO. Training ensues, ship gets out Of WaTer. Puke Flies AWAY

Puke: U1! Shut the fuck up! Im trying to listen to my favorite tunes.

Han and DOg And Laidup are in CLouds. Black guy gReATs them. Han gets turNed into rock.

Puke: OMg It's Dart Wader!

They turn on light things

Dart Wader: I am your father.


Hand GeTs choPPed off. The ENd'

To be continued...