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Rotating Rick Astley by jello bomb.gif Astleyism is a branch of utopianism characterized by a common attachment to Rick Astley. There are numerous key thinkers in Astleyism including, Jack the Enlightener, Sam the Inventor, Tony Zemaitis and Sam Coleman. The idea was conceived in a classroom on a hot Friday afternoon when Jack the Enlighter and Sam the Inventor weresupposed to be doing politics. There are numerous forms of Astleyism including Anarcho-Astleyism, created by Sam the Inventor, Spritual Astleyism and Conservative Astleyism, both of which were created by Jack the Enlightener. All are characterized by numerous Astleyist's wanting to make Astley the king of the world, so that he can implement his, now well known, principles.

Spiritual Astleyism[edit]

Spiritual Astleyism is a deist belief, in which Rick Astley is of human form, therefore as a God not interfering with universal operations, even though as a God he created the universe. Proof of his greatness is in the fact that he was nominated for Best Act Ever for the MTV Europe Music Awards but MTV is racist towards Gods. Bastards.

Conservative Astleyism[edit]

Conservative Astleyism believes that as Astley is perfect thus a change from total abidance to the Astley principles would be detremental to universal proceedings. It also makes sure that control over the populace of the universe is centred in one body, the body of Rick Astley. It is strong on Law and Order to stop deviation from the Astley principles.


Anarcho-Astleyism believes that the natural progression of mankind and the natural willingness of mankind to conform to Astleyism, means that a central government with great Law and Order and control over behaviour would be meaningless as it would serve no purpose in furthering the utopian dream of the Astley principles. The regional committee of Anarcho-Astleyist called 'the Anarcho-Astleyist Organisation for the Goal of an Astleyist Utopia on Earth' is headed by it's inventor, Sam the Inventor..


Pissing-off-Chris–Star-Astleyism believes that the entire purpose of Rick Astley's existance (as well as the music he created) is intended to annoy one particularly good looking man, simply because we're all jealous. Popular ways to do this include quoting song lyrics, citing facts or trivia, or implanting subconscious thoughts of Rick Astley through a process known as "Paul-Gooshausen-Syndrome-By-Proxy".


AnarchismAstleyismCapitalismCommieismDuncanismFatfingerismFeminismFlaniganismGobshiismHandelismHandleismPhalaphalphattomanohuosmokopiggophatoismRacismRandumbismSikhismSolipsisticismStock Phrase LinguamorphismStoicismStuartismVandalismWarisms

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