too bizarre for any version of Uncyclopedia,
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asdf, sometimes pronounced "as-duff", is the basis of human life. The study of asdf is called asdfology.
Some asdfologists believe that asdf is composed of pure energy, created by combining each of the elements a, s, d, and f. The a Element, as it is known, represents Fire. The s Element represents Water. The d Element represents Earth. And finally, the f Element represents Fun. When Fire, Water, Earth, and Fun combine, a process known as ■ occurs. asdfologists are not sure what sort of reaction takes place during ■, but it is certainly beyond human comprehension. Of course, those who are not human are eager to inform us in attempts to make our primitive Homo Sapiens minds implode with the sheer ■'ness of it all. but anyway, if asdf is comprised of pure, positive energy, then this means that there must be an opposite, comprised of negative energy, more commonly known as the lkjh. the lkjh is the asdf's only natural enemy. It defines who asdf is, and where asdf is going, comparitively, lkjh is defined by asdf, and we are told where it is going by studying asdf even more, leating to a recent glut in the science industry, which is now full of Asdfologists.
Humans and asdf
Some asdfologists believe that certain humans are infused with asdf, but others are not. Several examples of people believed to have asdf in their system include:
- Frankenstein's monster
- The Terminator
- André Breton
- The narrator from "SpongeBob SquarePants"
- The Power Rangers
- Chuck Norris
- Hannibal Lecter
- Master Asia
- Nyan Cat
- Any one starting with the letters A-Z
Scientific Study of asdf
asdfology is the science that studies how asdf works. it was born in the year 1337 AC. asdfologist discovered that the source of the power of asdf was ■. ■ is a power strong enough like to destroy Hyrule Temple in one shot, and kill Mario, the guardian of the Philosopher's stone, in 1/3 shot.
asdfology is a very well paid profession, although it is very difficult to get hired, because when you are a professional asdfologist, you are bound by contract to be one of the laziest people of all time, which means that you'll probably end up dying of hunger from being too lazy to get up and actually get yourself some food, which has been known to cause mild death.
Also Discovered by asdfology
- The ring for the Dark Lord, on his Dark throne, in the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie
- dramatic drum solos
- bubble wrap
Rivalry with other keyboard letterings
Asdf, perhaps more than any other, is famous for its intense rivalry with other keyboard letterings. Derek Asduff, the generally held founder of Asdfology, sparked controversy in the 15th century when he criticised the then highly popular Qwertyism. Angered by these comments, the then queen Elton John passed a law making saying anything bad about Qwerty or Qwertyism illegal. Asdf then laid low up until the invention of computers, and therefore keyboards in the 1980s. The invention of computers finally allowed Asdf to exist without being a paradox, though some asdfologists contend that typewriters allowed Asdf to exist realistically back into the 1800s. In the 1990s, Asdf finally became a major force in keyboard letterings, and became Qwerty's greatest competitor. The rivalry between the two keyboard concepts culminated to a war fought over 0 continents in 1997. Such were the casualties in the war that Jkl was able to rise out of the end of the war in 2001 and become the new dominant force in this area. Asdf is now trying to come back into the keyboard letterings market with limited success.
Other information about this subject is not known, but numerous research projects are being held in hopes of discovering a breakthrough. Scientists hope that one day they will be able to harness the power of asdf and use it for the good of mankind. We do know that the source of asdf is ◘, created by ▓. Some optimistic asdfologists even hope that they will discover a cure for diseases such as cancer and acne.
ASDF is also defined as extreme laziness when using a computer. People who type in ASDF in a chat room are obviously bored.