Art is what happens when a person either regurgitates or defecates in a place that is not designated for such actions. The patterns evolved from these splatters represent the foremost industrial revolutions of the 18th and 19th century, in particular the slave movement.
How YOU Can Create Art
Anybody can create beautiful art, it just takes time, some poison, or some fiber. All three are good in bed, so why can't they be good at art as well? After all, bed is art. And what you do in bed is as well (Except for when you've wet the bed - that's more a form of humiliation and comedy).
History of Art
Art goes all the way back to 1973 when McDonald's stopped serving healthy food and allowed their customers to create art in the lobby, which spread diseases, which only caused more art, which means diseases = art, which is why they're good for us.
“Yay! I contracted AIDs so I could hang from a pole in the Tate Modern”
~ Mona Leeza on Disease and arts interchangeability