Arctic Ocean

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Can we consider the Arctic Ocean a real ocean? Most of it is covered up with ice most of the time. What's on top of the ice? Seals, maybe. Polar bears, too. I don't care much about those guys except the bears are pretty scary. But if you just want the full experience without the traveling, all you have to do is go see a Chicago Bears home game in December.

Underneath the ice is what counts. And there's fish there, probably hiding out from the trawlers and fishermen. But again, I don't care much for cold fish. Fish should be at least somewhat over room temperature for me and on a bun, thank you.

Now they talk about this global warming thing and the loss of ice up there. But I just looked in my fridge and there was plenty of ice in there. So I don't know what those so-called scientists are talking about. Maybe I need to send a few trays or maybe a couple of bags of ice up there. Who do I address them to?