Apples v.s. Bananas 1

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Interviewer: Hello, everybody, my name is Gregory Abraham VII. I'm here today with abcdef farts and I'm going to be asking him a rather simple question - whether he likes apples or bananas better. So far, the score is 0 to 0 but by the end of this week, I should have a rather decent score that will show which fruit is preferred by the general public. Alright, so here we go . . . abcdef farts, do you like apples better or bananas better?

abcdef farts: Ewww, gross. Both of them suck! I mean, I guess I'll eat an apple if I'm forced to, but a banana, those things make me barf. Same thing with just about any other fruit you could possibly think of. Apples are the only fruit I can eat without vomiting, so my vote's gonna have to be apple.

Interviewer: Uh . . . so I'm guessing you don't like vegetables either, huh?

abcdef farts: Oh, those green leafy tasteless yet horrible tasting thingies? Don't even mention those!

Interviewer: Okay . . . well, if you don't like fruits and vegetables, I'm curious about what you eat on a regular basis.

abcdef farts: I like to stick with a good ol' bagel and bag of chips for my lunch. Maybe also some fruit snacks or a juice.

Interviewer: Well, that seems rather -

abcdef farts: Actually, now that I think about it, I don't really eat my lunch. I just mix all my food up and torture my friends with it. And then sometimes I put the fruit snacks in the microwave.

Interviewer: What the . . . what on earth is wrong with you, kid? You got some, uh, "issues" or somethin'?

abcdef farts: Nah, not really. Well . . . actually . . . sometimes I have a sudden urge to roll around in the street when a car's coming. 

Interviewer: WHAT? RIGHT WHEN A CAR'S COMING? Okay, look, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Retards are not allowed to vote, okay? Sorry, kid. And I sure hope you aren't dead by tomorrow. 

Alright, the score is still 0 to 0! See you soon: Apples v.s. Bananas 2