“Ooh, ee, ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang!”
~ Apple on Apples
SHORTCUUUUUUUUUUTS! Djs... aaaaah!
Run. IN FEAR!
Why? Furbies, that's why.
Hang on, Furbies are scarier. So yah, we'll carrotify you with bronze furbies. Rawfle.
Apples, the seemingly natural fruit, are actually made in factories at a cost of four carbon-foot-prints per box. The main ingredients are cloud fluff, brought down from heaven by angels and carved into apple shapes by a kindly old man in Sweden. They are then shipped to Ireland for the inclusion of the other, lesser, ingredients.
Apple has been a subject of much controversy due to its apparently racist undertones. No one cares though.