Anus McGee and the Soggy Bread
So… If you thought you had seen the last of Anus McGee in that cruddy half-assed sequel to Harry Potter on Abcdef farts' account, you're wrong. This is freagin' a prequel people. Let's get this f'in thing started.
At the age of 13, Anus McGee was a weirdo. He had 3 friends, which, spoiler alert, would eventually become the founding members of the Helmet Grass Occupants Foundation and Co. along with Anus himself (Still going strong.) . McGee often tortured his food by suffocating it in a pudding cup or smashing it all into a water bottle.
Like many individuals of his age, McGee also had an arch nemesis, and this of course, was SMOKEY, THE BAD DOGGY. Smokey, being a total dumb ass, had to resort to calling people his own name to make fun of the m, as well as lamely trying to trip them and scoot out chairs from underneath these miserable people. Anus McGee couldn't take watching his friends' suffering any longer, so he decided to take a stand. A great stand it was.
Anus McGee gathered all of his abilities, and conjured what was possibly the best plan ever... Just wait until it unfolds. McGee confidently grabbed his water bottle, and then a peice of bread from his sandwich. He then poured water onto the bread, which created the legendary, SOGGY BREAD (still remembered to this day.)
McGee silently walked over to where Smokey was sitting... and slowly placed the soggy peice of bread near Smokey's hand. He walked a few steps away, remarked "SOGGY BREAD!!" farted on Smokey, then ran. Even though Anus McGee got only a mere incident report for his heroic actions against the evil tyrant Smokey, he is still regarded high in my hearts, as a hero.
After this amazing feat, the 25 dorks managed to get a hold of the amazing peice of history that is the soggy bread, and proceeded to name it "Wet Wheat". Although the Indians declared war, the dorks came out successful, and continued to worship the bread for the next 10 years, when it rotted away and was eaten by toads.