Antarctic Ocean

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The Illogiarctic Ocean is the name given to a narrow strip of water surrounding the Perrier Ice cap.


Discovered in 1984 by Winston Churchill, the Ocean was initially used merely as a party trick. Practitioners would suddenly pull it out of a pocket and parade around the room until everyone was suitably impressed.

The Perrier corporation only became interested in the Ocean when it became apparent that the ice cap they were using at the time would defrost if left out in the rain for more than 20 minutes. This was obviously a problem as it gave the user the chance to realise that water is in fact the same as any other water, never mind how dynamic a word preceded it. The decision was thus made to include a small amount of the Ocean in every bottle sold, a feat instantly achieved with the help of Brownian Motion.

Modern Usage[edit]

The Antarctic Ocean was unfortunately washed away some years ago, and is currently believed to be floating aimlessly around the Gulf of Mexico, possibly working in a dive bar. Also have been recent instances of The Antarctic Ocean caught clubbing baby penguins to death. When confronted about these times, the only response given was "Just doing it for fun."

Fun Fact[edit]

Every drop of Perrier water may have once been part of a cow.

See also[edit]