Albuquerque

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Of course this a mirage and not Albuquerque. What did you expect?

In Albuquerque, French toast rains from the sky and you don't need to hold down a job because beggars hand out money. (See? All normal.) If you're tired of sauerkraut and eggplant and want to move onto some other food, come here. The BBQ restaurants founded long ago by former Donner Party members are still going strong.

You have can your pick of cacti here for boyfriends or girlfriends. And they're all great line dancers if you've had enough mescaline. You can talk to retired mutants that used to work at Los Alamos Laboratories who have all kinds of stories about blowing up nearby cities. Never been abducted by space aliens? You can do that in Albuquerque and get paid to do it! Plus all the chupacabras and skinwalkers here are so friendly, you'll have to experience it to believe it. The same goes for the giant trapdoor spider dens in front of the entrances of every supermarket.