WE FEEL NAUTIOUS
He went outside, for a walk. He was walking down the street, and he saw that it was lined with trees. He counted them. Eight. Then, he went inside, to take a nap, as counting them had taken a lot of energy out of him. When he went back outside, he counted the trees again, and there were now nine. He was confused. He lit a cigarette, then decided to burn his house down to make room for a tenth tree. He liked the number ten. So he lit his house on fire, then crossed to the other side of the street and watched.
The fire department came and hooked their hose up to a hole in one of the trees. They sprayed the house with tree sap, and the fire was out.
He crossed the street, and looked at his sticky, slightly pleasant smelling house. Perhaps in future, someone would find his body preserved in the sap, and use DNA from inside him to clone the things he ate. Salad. Ledduce.
Anyway, he went inside, disappointed, and looked in the mirror, where he saw a small tree protruding from his forehead.