IT'S HERE! THE NEWLY AWAITED PRODUCT IS FINALLY OUT! INTRODUCING....EPILEPSY!
WITH SO MANY COLORS, AND RANDOM FLASHES EVERY FEW SECONDS, IT'S A PRODUCT YOU DON'T WANNA MISS!!!
Because even if you did try to miss it, we'd still deliver it to your doorstep...unless you don't have a door.
PAINS COMFORTS OF EPILEPSY IN YOUR OWN HOME!!!!!!
aNd NoW wItH nO mOnEy DoWn UnTiL 20281!1!1!1!1!
THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE SAID AFTER THEY TRIED OUR
HORRIBLE WONDERFUL PRODUCT!
Product does not cause death. Batteries not included. Colors may vary.
Yeah, well read the fine print.
Product does actually cause death, but you're not supposed to know that.