Adele

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Adele with a Dell in Dover, Del. Coincidence?

Whoops - were you looking for Jimbo Whales? ~ Tamia


Adele is British singer-songwriter. At least, that's what she wants you to think.

According to the Tamia Hall Institute for Research and Funk (THIRF), Adele is actually a reptiloid alien from the Procyon Galaxy. Adele often sings with a large microphone obscuring her mouth, the better not to reveal her forked tongue. She has been reported to have born in Tottenham, a known haven for reptiloids in the United Kingdom. In fact, Spurs fans have been reported to favor a live rat and a beer at home matches.

Adele's mum brought her and several unhatched eggs to Brixton, but they were both sensitive to the gaudy lights and feared the seagulls, and moved back to the London area. There, Adele took up the guitar to accompany herself singing. Suspiciously, she played bass lines with her tail which gave her an advantage over the competition. She then took to wearing long dresses in performances to hide the tail.

She has since won just about every award that exists on Earth in the world of music, many of them several times. THIRF states this is because she can sing in frequencies that, though apparently inaudible, are used to brainwash any listener. Plus, she has taken steps to insure she has no equal in music today. She is thought to have murdered George Harrison, Amy Winehouse and Noel Redding and secretly traveled to America to do in Leonard Cohen and even Jam Master Jay, the latter for reasons only known to herself. She then hopped in her time machine and killed Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper. British music can only hope that Tay Zonday of Chocolate Rain fame can move to England and challenge Adele.


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