A Christmas Carol
Right, OK, so here's this guy, Scrooge or the Grinch or someone, and he's all "I AM AN ASSHOLE." So then, all of a sudden, these 3 ghosts just came outta nowhere and yelled at him to stop. And that was his day.
Christmas Past: Ghost Numero Uno
The first ghost was from the past. She had a Delorian with a Flux Capacitor that brought her to the present from 1985. Naturally, she needed plutonium to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of power needed to power this flux capacitor. However, while in the future, she accidentally prevented her grandchildren from meeting each other and finding the cure for cancer. She also shows Scrooge what an ass he was to his old girlfriend. Scrooge tries to steal her amazing Delorian, but it now flies, somehow, and Scrooge is unable to fly fast enough to keep up with it.
Christmas Christmas: Ghost The Secondstrd
The second ghost is from the present. He is the least important, as he is neither a fruit nor a vegetable. In the food pyramid, he is a meat or dairy product, rich in nutrients but also in fat. In other words, the 2nd ghost is unimportant, but he gets a section anyways. He shows Scrooge the life of his humble worker, Bob Cratchet, as he dines on Christmas eve with his family of wheat products. Scrooge is sad, but not sad enough, but still kinda sad, but really only sad enough to advance a plotline that needed 300 CCs of sad, stat! I'M LOSING HIM, DOCTOR! CLEAR! BBBZZZZZZZTTT!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP.... Boop.... Boop.... Boop... He's back! *Cheers*
Holidays future: The 3rdndth And Final Ghost
The third, and last ghost is from the future He is the third and last ghost. The last ghost, he is also the penultimate, the final ghost. He is the final ghost in the story. It is also important to note that IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!! DOODOO DOOOO DOOOO! DOODOO DOO-DOO-DOOOO. He shows Scrooge how everyone will hate him when he dies. Scrooge, who already knew this, demanded that the ghost work for him on Christmas day. The ghost protested. "But it's Christmas Day, sir! Please!"
Scrooge did not yield, and the ghost was forced to show Scrooge his own future grave. He was buried at sea, though, so this was no easy task. After a submarine ride, they stopped at an underwater Burger King, for fries and a shake. The damn Mexicans got their orders wrong. Hamburguesas con queso, papas fritas, y una bebida!! Hamburguesas con queso, papas fritas, y oh screw this, I'm going to KFC... And Scrooge did go to KFC, where he and the ghost dined most contentedly on Popcorn Chicken. Oh, and the ghost showed Scrooge his grave and Scrooge decided to be nice. He then woke up in his bed with a cold sweat, and swore off Indian food forever. (Yes, Again.)
And so, Scrooge wakes up in his bed, full of fear at what his future may become. He throws open his window, surprised by how warm it is for Christmas. "You there!" he yells to a boy on the street. "What day is this?" Please, tell me I'm not too late, tell me it's not Christmas, that I still have some time!"
The boy looks at Scrooge oddly. "Um, it's August, Mr. Scrooge...."
"So there's time!" cried Scrooge, putting on his street clothes. "Here's twenty bucks, go buy the Cratchets some food, and give the rest to charity, hurry!" He then began taking off his street clothes again.
"Uh, Mr. Scrooge, are you OK...?"
"Yes, yes, fine!" said Scrooge, putting on the same clothes he had just taken off.
"Well, I'll make sure this money goes to the right people," said the boy, pocketing the twenty and walking toward the toy store.
"Yes, excellent! cried Scrooge, taking off his clothes one more time and running outside naked. "I shan't be left in an underwater grave near KFC! NEVER AGAIN! WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
With that, Scrooge merrily skipped out the door of his house, full of Christmas cheer, and was hit by a truck.
- THE END