ATTENTION ALL BIKE RIDERS: Anus McGee returns!

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ATTENTION ALL BIKE RIDERS: ANUS MCGEE RETURNS!

For those of you who don't know, Anus Mcgee is the leader of his group of Helmet Grass Occupants, who do questionable things to bikes, particularly putting grass in people's helmets. Now that school has started again, many people will be riding their bikes completely oblivious to the important fact that Anus Mcgee will screw up your bike the first opportunity he gets. The Helmet Grass Occupants also are known for trying to hack into people's bike locks and farting on bike seats. Scooter riders will have the same problem if they leave their helmet on their bike - after school, they will find any of the following: leaves, sand, dirt, grass, spit, dog poop, and/or mutated slugs. To avoid having these disgusting and potentially dangerous things put in your helmet, we suggest that you find another form of transportation such as walking or driving a car. Another warning is that if you try to pull an Anus Mcgee on someone else's bike, you'll probably be caought by a rose (you'll see what I mean if you try it.) Anyway, be careful out there in "the real world."

Comments:

StarWarsFans47: So, are you suggesting we ride our bikes to school without a helmet? I don't think that's very safe at all. 

Hankster 1.0 (reply): Well, I never suggested that. First of all, I mentioned that the Helmet Grass Occupants have not only put grass in helmets but also hacked into bike locks and farted on bike seats. So riding a bike without a helmet doesn't solve those problems. And more importantly, I specifically stated that you should a find a form of transportation like walking or driving a car - not riding a bike! 

DarcyWBrooks: I just don't understand . . . why would anybody do such a thing? Hurting all that innocent grass. And it was even green! What a waste. Why couldn't he just use fallen down sticks or something? Or even dead grass would work. But to pull that beautiful green grass up on school property? Well, that just blows my mind away. 

Hankster 1.0 (reply): Well, I admire your respect to nature, but I think you're kind of missing the point here. Grass is not an endangered species at all, and most of the time, he used weeds - that would have gotten pulled up anyway.