AK-47

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What happens when I pull the trigger thing?

~ Dubya shooting down Air Force One

What happens again when I pull the trigger on this gun?

~ Dubya, just before addressing Congress

When a man with a .45 meets a man with an AK-47, the man with the pistol... Where'd he go?

~ Lee van Cleef character

What happens to the bullets when I fire into the air?

~ Jihadi at a wedding

I'd tell you how superior the AR-15 is to the AK-47, but I'm too busy cleaning it right now.

~ Almost dead guy

When a man with a tank meets... huh. Now the other guy's gone.

~ Lee van Cleef, again

Yep, this thing fires 1,832 rounds a minute on full auto. Of course, it runs out of ammo in the first second.

~ Gun dealer

Just squeeze the trigger.

~ Range instructor to 6-year-old, just before his untimely but expected death

Tell me about how this trigger thing works.

~ a retired Dubya at a mall opening