“Stop mocking me!”
Every Spring, the miracle of life is repeated by the humble comma. After commas mate following a courtship ritual that is rarely witnessed, each comma produces a single egg. This is raised into the air by helium stolen from a balloon. What we see produced by this process is called a semicolon. Soon, a strong breeze will carry the egg away and it will land far away, sometimes even traveling hundreds of miles. It will then lightly touch down and grow a tail to become a recognizable mature comma. Some sentences can look strange due to these new commas dropping from the sky and taking root. But it is all just the cycle of life, repeating over and over after millions of years.
Anyway, that's my lame excuse for bad punctuation and using the Oxford comma. What's yours?