10 reasons why my cat is not here

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From 10 Reasons Why, because reason is spread by lists
  1. We are in an office building where cats are not allowed.
  2. My cat is Allergic to French people, and the guy standing next to me is French.
  3. My cat is currently in the hospital eating carrots.
  4. I abuse my cat by throwing books at her, so she never wants to be around me.
  5. My cat hates you.
  6. My cat loves to eat carrots so she would rather be there.
  7. My cat is too tired after her mission to kill Darth Vader.
  8. My cat has no legs.
  9. My cat is dead.
  10. I don't have a cat. I never had a cat. And never will.