10 Reasons Why You Aren't a Duck

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From 10 Reasons Why, because reason is spread by lists
  1. Fonchezzz hates you
  2. You are a strangled cat or part of the bAjIBBLE Party
  3. You are a n00b
  4. You aren't on Illogicopedia
  5. Your articles SUCK
  6. You want to kill all ducks (OH NOES!!)
  7. You like Uncyclopedia better
  8. You're a vandal
  9. You haven't watched the recruitment video
  10. Fonchezzz doesn't know who you are (Most likely)