10 Reasons Why You Aren't A Professional Basketball Player

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From 10 Reasons Why, because reason is spread by lists
  1. You're not tall
  2. You're English/Russian/Afghan
  3. You can't jump
  4. When someone says "Coach K" you wonder what soccer coach they're talking about
  5. You're fat
  6. You're underage
  7. Grant Hill is Tamia's husband
  8. You didn't go to Duke
  9. You're 35 or older
  10. You suck at basketball