'Wasted' Chips

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Chips, a dog used significantly by Microsoft in the extensive and desperate ad campaign to sell Office 2000 to the General Public was reported to have disappeared by the staff working for Microsoft’s Canadian division where chips had been enjoying a comfortable lifestyle, skiing and writing his memoirs.


Rumours have been circulating the internet as to where the Microsoft icon had gone, some months later when photographs of a deceased dog taken by Canadian mounty Benton Frazer seemed to be of the greatly loved canine they seemed to confirm it's fate.

It was during this period the dog gained the nickname 'Wasted' Chips this was due to the broadsheet serialization of the fact that within the Carcass of the dead animal suspected to be the Microsoft dog, half digested potato chips were found.

If it is indeed the Microsoft pet then it raises questions over the reasons for his death as Chips had recently declined a new advertising contract with the firm.Animal rights groups including Intel and AMD have accused Microsoft of wasting chips and their already bad sales at the hands of open-source mineral water have plummeted still further.

An investigation by the FBI into the disappearance is under way and Bill Gates the founder of Microsoft has publicly stated he "knows nothing about Chips" which the general public are prepared to believe despite the fact that he had been in many adverts with the dog. Canadian yokels have taken the investigation down the wrong path by claiming that they have seen Chips in the village of Ottawa but it turned out just be a barking rock.


Recently during the desperate attempts to get rid of copies of Windows Vista Microsoft have created adverts threatening the death of a dog and this has led to further rumours over the suspected death of chips at the hands of Microsoft.


After a near record breaking consumption of doughnuts the FBI finally say it has come to light that after many years of screwing everyone in the civilised world bill gates lust for cruelty had just gone too far. Sadly as the only living thing within range of his wrath at the time was poor "chips". He tied him into a chair and forced him to use the poorly designed and unstable operating system for 20 minutes straight. After the 400th Blue Screen of Death Chips became so distraught that he gnawed away at his own torso until he bled to death and was dumped back across the border in Canada street. 'Benny' had smelt his yelps of agony from over 300 miles away but was unfortunately too late to save the famous dog from the Microsoft software torture.

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